Creepin' It Real

I'll keep this brief. This is a shout out to all my favourite creep-tastic customers. While majority of the people I encounter on a daily basis truly are awesome (regardless of my previous rantings), there are a handful of those that are just a little bit off in terms of point-of-sale interaction.

I can't say that this happens every day, but I am sure my co-workers would agree that it happens enough. We've all had our share of customers that:

• Intentionally make a point of caressing your hand while they pass you their money.
• Look deep into our eyes as we're handing over their coffee with a look of "all-knowing", like they know our deepest, darkest secret (and at this point, since we have just returned from having our back toward them, we're all wondering "Do I have something on my @$$?").
• Or just strait-out misinterpret our kindness/awesome customer service for flirting. 
• Some have even gone as far as to ask us out on dates, even though they are old enough to be our fathers. Or attempt to snap a picture of us at work. Really? Because I'm sure you were just going to upload that to your instagram album of "places I went today". 

Come on people. We're just trying to do our jobs. Just because I smiled at you and suggested you have a great weekend is not secret barista code for "I want to rip your clothes off and have you father my children." 

I promise. 

So as always, let's keep it classy. 

Line Dancing

Whether you're new, ignorant, or just plain stupid, after the morning rush I dealt with today I feel it is time to get back to basics and discuss proper line up etiquette.

Be Patient.
Most of the time there is only one of us working - sometimes, like this morning, two. We are doing absolutely everything humanly possible to get you in and out and on your way to work as quick as we can. So, standing with your arms crossed, three people deep in the lineup at a coffee kiosk at 7:45 in the morning, giving me a look like you are going to slit my throat may be a tad inappropriate. Relax. I'll be able to work quicker and will be a lot more polite to you if I am not fearing for my life.

Also, it is completely beyond my control if the idiot at the front of the line decides to stand there and debate whether they want a small or medium, a coffee or a latte, with or without sugar, and what type of milk. I will make their order as fast as possible but until they actually, verbally, communicate with me what that is - it is beyond my control, so get over it. If you didn't have time to wait in line, make your coffee at home.

Be Prepared.
To the idiot at the front of the line that spent the last seven minutes texting instead of deciding what you want to order: make up your mind and do it quickly. Not only are you being vastly inconsiderate of the four people waiting behind you, but you may actually cost me my life. Not to mention you will more than likely be the one that complains about how they had to wait so long for their coffee this morning.

Be Respectful.
Awesome that you and your BFF decided to stop for a latte on your way to class but if you are going to stand at the till, when it is your turn to order and proceed to carry on a conversation - with each other - gtfo. Seriously. How bout you two and the moron that just joined the coffee ordering debate team join forces and never come back. My feelings really won't be that hurt.

Be Realistic.
If you are going to show up at a busy coffee kiosk at 8 am during the Friday morning rush and order 10 drinks for the entire office, don't you dare tap your keys on the counter, sigh under your breath, or roll your eyes at how long it is taking. Seriously, even if there were 5 of us working, you'd still be waiting.

FINALLY:
Don't be talking on your cell phone when it is your turn to order.
Don't roll your eyes at me when I repeat your order back to you to ensure it's right.
Don't take fifteen minutes to count out exact change in nickels and dimes.
Don't complain about the prices.
Don't complain about how my coffee is too strong.
Don't be a douche bag.

Remember. We are the people you come to see to get your day started. We have control over whether your drink is actually made with sugar free syrup or non-fat milk but most importantly we're the ones who control whether it's caffeinated or not. Now, I'm not saying these types of things ever happen. I like to think every customer walks away with exactly what they order. But before you decide to step into my line up please make yourself familiar with the preceding requests. It will make my job and your wait a lot more bearable.