Today has to have been, hands down, one of the worst days I have had at work in the entire 50 months that I have held this job. While the rageful emotions are still fresh in my mind, let me explain why:
Put yourself in my shoes. Your alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. on a Friday morning and as much of a struggle as it is to get yourself out of bed, you do. Groggily, you go through your morning routine, make a cup of coffee (something I would later find out was the best decision I could've possibly made), get ready and leave the house by 6:15 a.m. Arrive at work around 6:20, walk in the doors, head to the kiosk only to find a dishevelled, disconnected, empty ice machine and a legitimate flood so bad that it has seeped through the walls and spread to the floor outside the kiosk.
This is probably the last thing you want to see at 6:30 a.m. on a Friday morning - our busiest time of the week. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So after a few deep breaths, I tried to find the positives and thought to myself, "Okay, okay. I can make this work. No ice. Whatever. I can still do hot beverages." So I proceed to put "Temporarily Out" stickers over the cold beverage menus and figure, it's gonna be some lost sales but what can you do. At least I can offer some alternatives. So, in my new positive, staying sane, approach, I go to start brewing my first pot of coffee: hit the brew button and.....NO WATER.
In order to prevent any more flooding in the kiosk they had to turn the water off last night. Tears. Then rage. Full out "don't get in my way, don't talk to me, don't even look at me or I'll slit your throat," rage. A little heads up last night would have been nice.
At this point I knew there was no pleasing anyone. So in quick-thinking, I made some signs apologizing for the inconvenience but due to equipment malfunction the kiosk would be CLOSED. Not only did I post these signs on EVERY entrance but also right on the screen of my till. Places you would think would be the most obvious.
You'd think.
So, 7 a.m. rolls around and the store opens, my kiosk still closed, and I am getting my stuff together - making stock lists, writing orders, getting paperwork together - so that I can head to the back (storage) and still try to be productive while the kiosk is closed.
I shit you not, every single person that came into the store with hopes of having coffee this morning had to have been either drunk, an absolute idiot, or completely illiterate. You may think I am being a bit harsh but here's just a few examples of what customers said to me:
"Do you know your lights aren't on?"
Oh, really? No. No I didn't notice that I was standing here in the absolute pitch black. Thanks for letting me know.
"Are you open?"
Yes, that's exactly what the big, bold letters on the CLOSED sign say. Thanks for asking. You're actually the first to inquire.
"Are you serious?!"
No. I'm just kidding. Jokes on you, any second Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out and tell you that you've been Punk'd.
"So, you don't have, like, any coffee or anything?"
Well, since the sign says closed, and I just told you that I have no running water, I can promise you on my life that I do not in fact have any coffee. None hidden, none hoarded away for myself. I have ZERO coffee. Zero anything. Hence the CLOSED sign.
I could go on but I feel like you're beginning to get a sense of the sheer stupidity I was dealing with this morning. I feel that I have lost all faith in humanity.
I love that when something goes wrong, customers immediately react and look at me as if it is solely my fault. Like that's right ma'am, you caught me. I totally wanted to ruin your day by making my kiosk not work -- even though I still had to be here at 6:30 a.m. ON A FRIDAY, to stand here and get bitched at by morons like you. But you're totally, 100% correct, it is MY fault. Gotcha.
In sparing a few more detailed wrong-doings of this morning, I'll wrap this up in letting you know that it was not until after 1p.m. that we finally got the kiosk up and running, which was just on schedule - the end of my shift. It was probably good timing though, because if I had to listen and try to react respectively to one more moronic question from a customer I can honestly say I was split seconds away from smacking someone upside the head and saying "that's for asking stupid questions."
So, ladies and gents: read the signs, don't ask stupid questions, and always remember, equipment malfunctions are not your baristas fault but are only a problem for them as well.
T.G.I.F. It's time for a drink.
